When Disaster Strikes: Helping children cope with life at its worst

When exposed to catastrophes like these, whether personally or through the media, children often display fears and anxieties that can seem extreme to some adults. These are normal; however, without proper assurance, the impact of events like these can remain with children throughout their lives. With the right support and guidance, even very young children can become resilient enough to weather the most traumatic disaster, and grow stronger from the experience.

Providing Crisis Support :

• Express your love for your children more than usual, both verbally and physically. Raising the level of affection and warmth in the home will help children feel calm.
  
• Maintain normal routines, to help children's sense of stability.
  
• Be available to children when they need to talk about the disaster.
  
• Read stories with children about disasters and how people deal with them.
• Discuss the kinds of emotional reactions people have to disasters, explaining that it's OK to feel afraid or angry.
• Tell children about the people—police, firefighters, emergency rescue teams—who bring disasters under control, and explain how they are always there to help.
• Develop and discuss home safety and emergency procedures.

Building Inner Strength

• Putting experiences into words gives children a sense of more control. Explain to them that disasters are real. Talk about past disasters they may or may not have been aware of, such as those mentioned above. Explain why they happened and what (if anything) can be done to prevent similar things from happening again.
  
• Emphasize that manmade disasters such as bombings or hostage incidents are very wrong, and that the people responsible for them must be found and punished.
  
• Teach children that people make mistakes and do harmful things, but that becoming violent or killing people is never acceptable.
  
• Help children understand that they are good people who would never commit a destructive act—and that they are certainly not responsible for the disaster.
  
• Have your children set aside quiet time for reflection to allow them to sort out their feelings. If prayer is part of your family's religious tradition, you might encourage your children to pray when they need strength.
• A great way for kids to feel confident and in control is for them to express compassion and provide help for the victims of disaster. A child can be transformed from victim into helper by writing letters to survivors or contributing to relief funds.

Communicating and Coping With A Crisis

• When talking with children about difficult feelings, supply words if they have difficulty labeling how they feel. If they are exhibiting rage toward an event or the forces that caused it, say something like, "You must feel very, very angry."
  
• Listen to children very closely, because sometimes their emotions may be expressed in very indirect ways. Remain patient and understanding.
  
• Tell children about your own feelings, but consider their age and maturity level and make sure not to overwhelm them. Be clear and consistent in what you say; contradictory messages might lead to misunderstandings. Make sure, as well, that your words are supported by your own behavior.
  
• Encourage children to express their feelings in creative ways, such as through art, writing, or music.
  
• Talk to children about how they have the opportunity to grow up to become people who help others, such as police officers, doctors, firefighters, teachers, or counselors.